Our adventures on Earth:

The typist (so called) has attempted proper archives on the tale of our adventures with earthlings. I fit doesn't work (if!) blame him.

Funny Fiction: September 2007 archive
July and August also done :)

Funny Fiction: A Life-form Based on Water?

A new episode of our adventures visiting/spying on Earth:

Funny Fiction: A Life-form Based on Water?
(please follow the link for the story)

Playdough's Republic

Playdough's Republic

#11's diary

Yesterday I read a ripping yarn called 'The Republic' by a chappy named Plato. It was translated from Greek (fortunately!)

There didin't appear to much reference to current life on Earth, which puzzled me...

*

Number 14 heard a murmuring from Number 11’s room. It stopped to listen.

‘Okay,’ said Number 11. ‘We’ll try inventing an ideal society by having two characters arguing.’
Number 11 modelled its Playdough into the general shape of a philosopher, reclining on a model couch, and looked around for a suitable combatant. The chess pieces liberated from Number 12 were too small to stand up to Playdough, so Number 11 rummaged in its collection for goodies retrieved from the HairyMammals’ party in Smogdale.
‘This jar of pickled cabbage will do,’ it declared, and attired it with a piece of cloth to act as a robe.

Number 11 shut off its internal blather relating to serving tea and settled into imaginative overdrive.

Playdough: ‘No man is an island,’ declared Playdough.
Sauerkraut: ‘True,’ conceded Sauerkraut. ‘But what’s your point?’
Playdough: ‘My point is, one man (or woman) could build a shelter and grow or catch their own food, thus becoming self-supporting. Likewise, a small group could do this, hence being able to rear their children and perpetuate their species.’
Sauerkraut: ‘That is undoubtedly true.’
Playdough: ‘No doubt they would occasionally meet other such groups and exchange some seeds, tools, livestock breeding techniques, …’
Sauerkraut: ‘That seems inevitable, unless they were particularly hostile or paranoid. Not that I’ve ever been too sure what the difference is. Don’t the livestock have their own techniques?’
Playdough: ‘I can foresee such a society surviving and probably improving their food gathering techniques over the millennia. And I meant genetics!’
Sauerkraut: ‘Agreed. But I can’t imagine them doing much else.’
Playdough: ‘Precisely. A child born with artistic talent, or a facility for invention, would be obliged to spend most of their time providing food or shelter. Materials would not be developed for writing, painting, insulation and so forth. They’d probably spend half of each day collecting firewood during the colder months.’
Sauerkraut: ‘A hard life and not terribly fulfilling.’
Playdough: ‘Exactly, hence the urge to build tractors and brick factories. In Britain, of the nearly sixty million HairyMammals, only about two hundred thousand work in agriculture. One person in 300.’

to be continued

Northern Rock (sand?)

Northern Rock (sand?)

Peering down at Planet Earth we see the British government have guaranteed the deposits of investors in Northern Rock Bank. The share price is now recovering, yet people are still queueing to take out their savings. Don't they trust the British government?

I'm new

Thanks for the invite!

Housing as slavery and gambling

Today, the brass monkeys are malicious, the MikroSoft dedicated customer support is on strike (even the robots) and the open cast cheese mine is working full tilt.

Today we are puzzled - as ever. It seems the housing market has gone bananas in the UK, again, and people are queueing to take their money out of Northern 'Rock' building society.
Hmm ....